Mistakes
by EriRapp
Summary: Jyou returns home to tie up a few loose ends and ends up with more than he bargained for. Jyou/Koushirou, Yamato/Taichi one-sided , Yamato/Jyou Past , OC/Koushirou, various others implied/mentioned.
1. Chapter 1

**Mistakes**

Staring at the trains could give you a headache after a while, Jyou realized. At least, he hoped the pain at his temples could be attributed to the constant movement-- the alternative wasn't particularly pleasant.

Back in boarding school in England, these pains associated themselves with a variety of individuals who'd had more than a few unpleasant words for the Japanese boy. Before then, they'd been associated with his school mates who hadn't understood the way that the world changed for someone who'd seen another place, another world which glittered with digital claws and promises. Even earlier, they'd been tied to his friends-- the other Digidestined-- and their exploits.

_Why am I back here?_ Jyou thought to himself vaguely as he rose from his seat at the train platform in Odaiba. There hadn't been any real point in coming back. All of the other Digidestined-- the only ones his own age he'd ever been close to-- had changed, shifted into people he couldn't even recognize anymore. Everyone seemed to act as if there had never been a Digiworld, a Digidestined team who'd worked together trying to do what they thought was right.

Clenching and unclenching his fist, barely noticing the nervous habit, Jyou walked back towards the single bedroom apartment he'd rented for at least this first month. He refused to move back in with his parents, preferring to keep them in the dark as much as he'd kept everyone in the dark when it came to his whereabouts. Undoubtedly, this course of action would prove to be safer, especially since he didn't plan on being here for long.

Maybe he'd made his way back here, over oceans and continents, because he still felt like this was 'home'-- as much as any place could be home. Some things should be done at home. Sometimes it was necessary to come back to finish everything at the place where you began.

It had been... gods, seven years? How time flew when you stopped paying attention to the damned thing. Jyou'd made his way to England for boarding school only three years after they'd all returned to the real world. Four years later, he'd returned to Japan, even though he hadn't finished at the college he'd been attending-- mainly leaving so they wouldn't kick him out. Who knew that if you stopped studying you'd end up failing classes?

Well, he wasn't Koushirou.

Grimacing at the thought, Jyou glanced about almost warily, as if he expected the redhead to jump out at him. "Idiot," he muttered under his breath at himself. Koushirou hadn't been trying to find him for two years now-- not after Jyou had deliberately faded away, not even leaving an electronic trail for Koushirou to follow.

Maybe that's what hurt the most about school-- that his friends had stopped trying. Not that Jyou could blame them-- he hadn't encouraged their attempts at communication with any sort of response. In fact, he'd avoided answering any of them. One by one they'd stopped trying.

Jyou kept track of them-- after all, it was important to know what happened to the team. Everyone lied about their lives. Maybe that was to be expected, with everyone older, trying desperately to be people they weren't, people they could never be, no matter how hard they tried. It wasn't anything surprising that Jyou joined the ranks in lying, was it?

Turning on his computer once he entered the mostly-empty room, Jyou blinked as an instant message window popped up almost immediately. This screen name had been private, one for him to spy on others through-- how had someone gotten it...?

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Jyou, is that you?

And how did they know who he was?

Deciding the answer was more important than the issue of remaining invisible at stake, Jyou took a deep breath and responded.

**Unsound6:** Who is this?  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Koushirou. Remember me?

...he shouldn't have answered. Damnit, this wasn't going to go well. This wasn't in the plans.

Pausing for a long moment, Jyou considered shutting off the computer. But no... now that he'd started this, he couldn't very well stop. He had to respond.

**Unsound6:** ...yeah. It's me.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** When'd you get back? I thought you were in England.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** You've been gone for a while, Jyou.  
**Unsound6:** ...recently. I was. And yeah, I guess.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...you doing ok?

"Perfectly fine. I have no idea why you're contacting me, and it's going to mess up my plans, but I'm perfectly fine, Koushirou," Jyou groaned quietly, hating the fact that things only seemed to be getting more complicated.

**Unsound6:** Fine.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...you sure?

"Of course I'm sure," the youth glared at the screen. "Would I say so if I wasn't?"

Damnit-- he'd thought he'd broken the habit of talking to himself when he'd gone to England. Apparently, all it took was being back in Odaiba and talking to Koushirou to bring back the ritual.

**Unsound6:** Yeah.  
**Unsound6:** Was there something you wanted?

...

**Unsound6:** Was there something you wanted?

Koushirou took a deep breath at those words. He'd been making his nightly rounds on the internet for any new activity from his friends-- or anyone who might be his friends hiding. Generally, he failed at figuring out anything new, but with the way things happened these days, any chance was better than none. But somehow he'd ended up lucky-- or so he'd thought-- and he'd managed to find Jyou.

But what a changed Jyou! The reluctant Digidestined now seemed as cold as Yamato had been when they'd first entered the Digital World. Koushirou wasn't sure how to react to all of this, wasn't sure what he could and couldn't say.

Closing his eyes for a long moment, Koushirou's mind drifted back. The older boy had always been something of an enigma to all of the DigiDestined, but surely he hadn't been like this-- had he? Had Koushirou missed something so obvious about the boy?

No. He'd watched Jyou since they'd first been sucked into the Digital World from camp-- he hadn't missed anything that glaringly obvious. Something had changed over the past four years. Jyou hadn't been this cold before he'd gone to England. Was this what happened when people left the country for the west? No-- Yamato had been in and out of the country for his tours, and he seemed to be more open than he'd ever been.

So what was different?

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Can't I be worried about a friend?  
**Unsound6:** If you say so.

Unsure of how to respond, Koushirou took a long moment to consider the screen. Granted, when reading an instant message, a lot got lost in the electronic transfer-- humans communicated mostly through body language and intonation, two factors which weren't anywhere near the words coldly popping onto his screen. However, Koushirou had never had any problems with this method of communication before.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** So, are you staying in Odaiba for long?  
**Unsound6:** No.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Why not?

The words appeared on the screen before Koushirou thought about them. He hadn't meant to pry, given the fact that Jyou obviously didn't want to share information, but... the idea of finding Jyou and then losing him again so quickly _hurt_, and the computer expert was almost as bad as Taichi at hiding that kind of pain.

True, Jyou probably had little reason to stay in Odaiba. Shuu and Shin had left recently, having each accomplished everything they could here. As for the rest of the Kido family, while Jyou's parents still lived here, Koushirou suspected Jyou never really resolved things with them after he'd refused to plan for medical school, deciding that he really _wasn't_ suited for that sort of thing.

But... Koushirou, selfishly, wanted Jyou to stay. He wanted Jyou to stay in Odaiba-- then things would seem more manageable. It wouldn't matter quite so much how many people changed, how everyone drifted apart. It wouldn't matter so much because it was _Jyou_.

The little redhead wasn't sure when he'd realized how much Jyou meant to him, wasn't sure when he'd noticed that the keeper of Reliability centered and grounded him more than any of the other DigiDestined. He knew why the DigiDestined were important as a whole-- after all, Koushirou spent so much time behind his computer, he barely got to know anyone around him. That forced environment of the Digital World gave him an opportunity he'd always turned down before, and he'd been part of a group for once.

The computer beeped at Koushirou, snapping him back to the screen.

**Unsound6:** I just came back here to do something.  
**Unsound6:** No point in staying.

"But I want you to stay," Koushirou whispered, shaking his head slightly.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...I guess since your brothers left, there's not a lot left here for you, is there?  
**Unsound6:** No.  
**Unsound6:** Besides, Shuu and Shin wouldn't be that much of an incentive to stay anyway.

"Then what _would_ be?" Koushirou demanded of the computer screen, glad he hadn't pushed for a video chat. This talking to a computer which wouldn't respond verbally made him feel a little better. At least this way he wouldn't send Jyou offline faster.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Well... want to hang out for a bit while you're still here?

All of Jyou's responses up to now had been fairly fast, but this time, Koushirou could practically hear the seconds ticking by as he waited. Was this response taking longer, or was it only his imagination?

Seconds became minutes and Koushirou checked to make sure Jyou hadn't signed off on him. What was taking so long? Could Jyou read his mind? Was Jyou trying to figure out how to say no without sounding even harsher than he already had?

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Jyou? You still there?  
**Unsound6:** ...yeah.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** We don't have to if you don't want to.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** It was just an idea.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** I mean, you're probably busy.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Sorry.

He sounded like he was making excuses now-- but he was, wasn't he? Trying to say something, anything to keep Jyou there, keep him as close as he could. When had he gotten so desperate? When had he gotten so needy? Was this what being apart from people for too long did?

**Unsound6:** ...we'll see.

...

**Unsound6:** ...we'll see.

Now why had he written that? That wasn't in the plan. In fact, that went so far as to completely and entirely deviate from what had once been the plan that Jyou wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. Trust Koushirou to be the one to find him, to force Jyou to rethink what he'd planned on doing without even knowing. That redhead had a way of twisting Jyou's world around.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** I'm still living with my parents if you ever want to come over while you're here.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Do you remember where it is?  
**Unsound6:** Yeah.

Was Koushirou asking him to come over? Now? No, not now. He shouldn't be thinking about that sort of thing. He should be focused on his objective, the reason he'd come back to Odaiba.

The gun in his hand.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** What are you up to tonight?

_Shooting myself?_ Jyou thought before grimacing. He couldn't say that to Koushirou, even if it were true.

**Unsound6:** ...tying up some loose ends.

There. That sounded enough like the truth that Koushirou wouldn't sense the lie, while it still would keep the computer whiz in the dark enough that he wouldn't... Wouldn't what? Make him suspicious? Make him feel guilty in the end?

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Let me know if I can help, ok?  
**Unsound6:** You can't.

Or you have already. Maybe that was the problem.

The longer Jyou stayed on the computer with Koushirou, the less he wanted to follow through with his plans. The plans Jyou carefully worked on for the past four years. The plans which were supposed to end tonight, here in Odaiba.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...well, let me know if there's anything I can do for you, Jyou.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...I worry about you.

Jyou had been about to shoot back another retort, trying to cut Koushirou off before that second message popped up. Now what was he supposed to say? He didn't want to worry anyone, least of all the redhead who still managed to believe in him, despite everything.

He had to change the subject, had to think, had to do something...

Jyou already knew, deep inside, though he hadn't really registered it, that he wouldn't follow through on his plans tonight. There really wasn't any way he could. He would have to do something to make sure Koushirou didn't think it was his fault or something.

**Unsound6:** Don't.  
**Unsound6:** I have to get off.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Oh... ok.  
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Come by when you have some free time? I'm on break, so I'm free all the time, and I pretty much just stay at home...

"Don't beg like that, Koushirou, it doesn't suit you," Jyou sighed. "You'll get your way. You always do."

It seemed like he would be around to talk to Koushirou for a while. Maybe they'd even talk about what had happened between them.

**Unsound6:** ...we'll see.

With that, Jyou signed off, staring at the screen for a long moment after he'd turned off he machine. Things changed. He'd changed. A few facts hadn't changed, but... at least for tonight, he'd let it go.

Yesterday's mistakes could be solved tomorrow. For tonight, though... he'd rest. Tomorrow would be another day.

...

Koushirou sighed as Jyou signed off, grateful that the older boy hadn't outright denied the possibility of seeing him. Things had gotten so complicated-- it was strange and unwelcome. But then again, the past had taught Koushirou that sometimes there were too many mistakes to forget, to forgive. Sometimes, the mistakes you made came back to haunt you, even if they were your secrets.

"Well... goodnight, Jyou," Koushirou murmured to the now-empty chat, closing the applications on his PiBook. "Maybe I'll get to talk to you again tomorrow..."


	2. Talk

**Mistakes  
Talk**

Sunlight never seemed brighter than the morning after you were supposed to die, Jyou decided wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, one hand searching for his glasses. Maybe it was the fact that the annoyance usually faced with the morning light faded somewhat when you realized the alternative you almost took would be to never feel it again. Everything seemed a little more brilliant.

Going through his normal morning routine, Jyou dressed and combed his hair, considering himself in the mirror. What was he supposed to do, now that he was alive? He hadn't made any plans, hadn't even considered what he'd do in Odaiba if he'd decided not to go through with shooting himself. Any attempt to think about _not_ going through with it had been quashed early on-- after all, if he gave himself options...

But now that left him with nothing to do.

By this time, stores would be bustling with people, kids trying to milk the last few days of the month long summer break. Jyou could go, lose himself in the crowds at the mall-- at least there it would be air conditioned. The apartment he'd rented had a few fans, but nothing that could truly combat the pounding heat.

Or he could see if Koushirou really _did_ stay at home all the time.

"And if I go there, I'll ask him, and then I'll be right back where I started. But isn't that what I wanted? Maybe," Jyou grimaced at his reflection. He'd admit there were questions he wanted to ask, even if the answers wouldn't give him peace.

Mall first. He should probably eat if he planned to keep on living. Jyou knew enough about the human body to know it wouldn't survive without sustenance, even if he didn't plan on becoming a doctor. Besides, getting out would probably do him some good. Remind him what it was like to be around other people, to be back in Japan after being away for so long...

...

It took about five minutes sitting in the food court for Jyou to remember why he'd been mostly anti-social during his schooling years in Japan. Oh, it wasn't that he was still the same awkward child he'd been back when he'd first gone to the Digital World-- it was more that he couldn't stand the superficiality prompted by such open environments. Maybe boarding school in England had changed him too much, but something about the way no one said what they were thinking, the hidden meanings behind everything... they made Jyou feel more tired than he had when he'd woken up.

_Maybe I should just go see if Koushirou's-- is that Yamato?_ Jyou blinked as he stared openly at a poster several young girls crowded around, pointing excitedly. _Guess he's gotten more popular since I left._ A twinge of guilt flew through Jyou as he stared at the poster long after the girls had left.

He hadn't tried to keep in contact with anyone-- and he would be the first to admit that he'd done his best to discourage it. But something flashed through his mind-- a letter he'd received, saying that Yamato's band would be in England for a few weeks, and it would be great if they could get together. Tickets had been enclosed-- two, in case Jyou wanted to bring someone along, he supposed-- but Jyou ended up not going. He hadn't responded to the letter either.

Maybe it had been a mistake to distance himself from his friends after all.

"This seat taken?" a vaguely familiar voice broke through Jyou's thoughts, making the blue-haired boy wonder if he was going to be constantly interrupted while he was thinking in Japan.

"No," Jyou replied, motioning for the stranger to take a seat without even really looking at him, still trying to figure out what he was doing.

Silence passed for a long moment before a warm hand touched his. "...Jyou?"

Not a stranger then. And the feel of that hand--

Dark eyes darted up immediately, confused by the sight. Dark sunglasses, a hoodie, even inside the mall on such a hot day--

"Ya--"

Shaking his head, the not-stranger rose. "Not here," he murmured quietly, making a slight motion with his hand, as if asking if Jyou would come with him.

Taking a deep breath, Jyou nodded, rising as well. Yamato, here? Jyou would've thought the blonde would try to avoid places he might get mobbed by his rabid fans, but apparently, if he came incognito like this, he was left mostly alone. Maybe the subtleties of the society allowed Yamato a bit of free reign.

The pair walked in silence for several moments until they reached a music store. Ducking inside and nodding to the owner, Yamato led Jyou to a back room, set up more like a lounge than the storage area it appeared to be, locking the door after the blue-haired boy was safely inside. "Sorry for all the secrecy, it's just... nice, sometimes, to get away from it all," Yamato shrugged as he slipped the jacket and sunglasses off, letting them fall onto the table. "Though I'm sure you know about that."

"How'd you know I was back?" Jyou asked, his mouth moving before he'd decided what to say. That wasn't the way you greeted an old friend, he mentally scolded himself. Especially not one like Yamato.

"I didn't," Yamato admitted, seemingly unfazed by Jyou's directness. "I thought it was you sitting there when I ducked in to grab some water. I figured, at worst, I'd get mobbed by some fans. At best, maybe I was right, and it _was_ you. When'd you get back?"

"Yesterday."

Nodding, Yamato ran a hand through his hair, considering Jyou. "You back on break or something? Or for another reason...?" Blue eyes darkened suspiciously, suddenly.

Jyou suddenly felt a little uncomfortable under that gaze. If any of the Digidestined could guess why he'd come back, it would be Yamato. "I left school."

"So for another reason," Yamato sighed. "Damn. And here I hoped maybe you stopped talking to me-- to all of us-- because you weren't as screwed up as the rest of us," he shook his head.

"I wouldn't call _everyone_ screwed up, Yamato," Jyou considered the blonde. "You've done pretty well for yourself, all things considered," he added before the pop star could correct him. "And I haven't heard anything too tragic about the rest of the group."

"You haven't been around to hear it," Yamato shrugged, no accusation in his voice as he took a seat on the couch. Feeling the need to explain himself, Jyou opened his mouth, cut off with a shake of the blonde's head. "I know why you left, Jyou. At least, I know more of it than anyone else, I'd wager."

He probably did too, Jyou admitted in his mind. "I'm... sorry. About not going to your concert. And not answering your letters."

"I figure you had your reasons," the blonde shrugged again, nonchalantly. "Besides, that's past, and you're here now. I'm more worried about the present. Are you all right, Jyou? _Really_ all right?"

After everything they'd been through, Jyou wasn't sure he could lie to Yamato. The younger teen would know. "I'm not sure yet," he confessed after a moment. "I came back here... and today, everything seems different from yesterday."

"A certain redhead have something to do with that?"

Blushing slightly, Jyou didn't answer immediately.

"You should just tell him why you left, Jyou," Yamato sighed. "And before you say anything, I have talked to Taichi about things."

"And?" Jyou prompted.

"You first," Yamato gave the blue-haired boy a pointed look, motioning for him to sit.

Sinking onto the couch, Jyou considered how much to tell Yamato before shrugging. There wasn't a real need to keep anything from the musician. "I dropped out of school. Came back here to kill myself. Got the gun and everything. When I was getting ready to... Koushirou IMed me," Jyou paused, giving Yamato a moment to make a quip about any of the statements. When he didn't, the boy shrugged and continued. "We talked a little. I didn't tell him anything, but... I didn't want to kill myself so much anymore. So I signed off and went to sleep."

Mulling over this for a moment, Yamato chuckled a little. "Weird. But you're still here, so whatever works. You planning on using that gun still?"

"Not right now."

"But you're holding onto it just in case."

Jyou shrugged. "Your turn."

"I talked to Taichi. He freaked out a little on me," Yamato sighed. "He hasn't spoken to me since. He's dating Sora now, I think."

Wincing, Jyou gave the blonde a sympathetic look. "How long ago was that?"

"About two years ago."

"Took you two years to work up the nerve to tell him?"

"You still haven't told Koushirou," Yamato pointed out. "Besides, I've never been great at that sort of thing."

"Talking, you mean?"

"Yeah. At least, talking about anything that important. To anyone-- except for you," Yamato added, not quite as an afterthought.

Two years ago... that would've been around when Yamato went on his tour. To England. To where Jyou was. When Jyou hadn't-- damnit. "I wonder when you and I got so good at talking about this sort of thing. It wasn't during high school, back when..." Jyou trailed off.

"Afterwards, I think. Once we realized that we know too many of each other's secrets. And about them," Yamato waved his hand at the vague word.

Suddenly, Jyou became all too aware of how much he'd missed this easy conversation with Yamato. They'd confided in each other in the two years right before Jyou had left for England when the world seemed to shift and become some sort of amorphous entity. They'd relied on each other, and Jyou had left.

Yamato understood why, that much was more than apparent. Even without being told the details, he knew. Something about that felt strangely comforting to the blue-haired boy, made him feel a little more guilty about not keeping in contact. "Yama--"

"Don't," the pop star shook his head, giving Jyou a slight smile-- a real one, not the fake smirk he put on for his fans. "We're cool, you and me."

Swallowing hard to get rid of the lump in his throat, Jyou considered all the things he could say before deciding on the easiest. "...I guess I _should_ talk to Koushirou."

"Yeah, you should. And if anything goes wrong, give me a call," Yamato smiled again, fishing a scrap of paper from his pocket and scribbling down a number. "That's my private number, so don't go giving it out, okay? I don't want to have to change it again."

"I'll call, and I won't," Jyou smiled back in spite of himself as he stood up.

"Good," Yamato nodded, standing at the same time as Jyou. "You ready to go talk to him then?"

"If I don't go now, I probably won't." For more than one reason. Being around Yamato made him want to relax in the easy atmosphere where there wasn't a question, wasn't a past full of thoughts too harsh to think about.

"Then get your ass out of here," Yamato scolded gently as he unlocked the door and pushed the blue-haired boy out. "Let me know how it goes."

"I will. And... thanks."

"Don't mention it. Just be at my next concert if you're still around."

"Sure, if you remember to get me tickets."

"And backstage passes this time," Yamato laughed. "Stop stalling."

"Okay, I'm going."

Jyou turned and made his way out of the store, heading out of the mall. At least things seemed less complicated now that he'd talked to Yamato...


	3. Miscommunication

**Mistakes  
Miscommunication**

Maybe it was the combination of wanting something so badly and feeling so incredibly satisfied that something _good_ had happened that left Koushirou asleep until a gentle tapping sound woke the boy up from a more rested sleep than he'd had in years. "Nn-- five more..." Wait. That wasn't coming from his door. That wasn't his mother.

Eyes shot open and Koushirou whirled towards the window almost accusingly-- who would be disturbing his...

The anger died away faster than it had risen. "Jyou!" Koushirou couldn't contain his enthusiasm as he practically leaped out of bed towards the window, blushing suddenly as he realized his state of undress. This hadn't been exactly how he'd planned on greeting Jyou, should the older boy actually take him up on the offer. "I-- um..."

"I can wait," Jyou shrugged.

"No, that's-- um..." Koushirou fumbled with the latch, managing to open the window. "C'mon in-- I'm just... gonna change and stuff," he added as he grabbed a change of clothes and sprinted over to the adjoining bathroom, locking himself in and quickly shedding his pajamas in favor of the button-up shirt and jeans he'd grabbed. Dimly he heard Jyou climbing in as he rushed to make himself more presentable.

Damn, damn, and double damn! He hadn't wanted Jyou to see him as a kid still unable to take care of himself. He'd wanted...

Well, what _had_ he wanted? To talk, certainly. But beyond that-- talk about what? Say what? Do what?

Making his way out of the bathroom, he gave the blue-haired boy a winning smile. "I'm glad you came by! I was worried you wouldn't."

Shrugging slightly, Jyou relaxed from his seat on the bed. "Well, I was in the area."

"Ah-- well, you seem..." Koushirou wasn't sure how he wanted to end that sentence. Originally the phrase would've been 'different from last night, what happened?,' but that somehow didn't seem entirely appropriate for their situation. The last thing the redhead wanted was to scare Jyou off now. "...calmer," he finished lamely.

"Than last night?" Jyou shrugged a little at that. "I saw an old friend while I was at the mall earlier. He straightened out a few things I'd been thinking about."

Unreasonably, Koushirou felt a stab of jealousy dart through him. This... friend... Jyou seemed to have changed for the better after meeting with this friend. What kind of friend was this? He couldn't ask-- that wouldn't be fair. He'd sound like a girl with a crush. "Well... I'm glad you're feeling better then."

Shifting slightly, Jyou considered Koushirou for a long moment before sighing softly. "How long are you going to wait before you ask it?"

"Ask what?" Koushirou flushed slightly, glancing away.

"What's on your mind. The reason you kept looking for me."

"That wasn't--"

"Don't lie, Koushirou. It doesn't suit you."

Hating the way Jyou made him feel childish for even thinking about trying to lie to him about this sort of thing, the redhead winced slightly. "Not big on small talk then?" At the pointed look he received, Koushirou nodded slowly. Here was that standoffish Jyou again, the one he'd thought was gone, at least for a while... "Fine then-- why'd you leave, Jyou? I thought..."

"Go on, Koushirou-- what did you think?" Jyou asked drolly, that cold rising up so quickly.

"...I thought we were _friends_. That you'd say something before up and running off--"

"And I thought you'd say something if you were sleeping with my cousin."

Koushirou blinked, stunned into silence for a long moment. Sleeping with-- cousin-- what the... but there'd only been one...

"Yes, my cousin, Koushirou. Or did Hiroshi never tell you?" Jyou asked coldly.

"W-what does he have to do with any of this, Jyou? It's not like-- I mean, Hiroshi and I..." Koushirou mentally cursed his inability to explain himself. Words-- he'd never been the best with them, preferring to take his time and deal with technology than with words, with people, "...it wasn't important," he finished finally, trying to understand how he could make Jyou see what he was saying.

Dark eyes filled with ice stared at Koushirou through those thin-rimmed glasses. "'Wasn't important,'" Jyou repeated, as if sounding out the words, considering them. "Which part wasn't important, Koushirou? The part where you were sleeping with my cousin? Or the--"

"You're making it sound all wrong!" the redhead shook his head, uncertain why wetness filled his eyes. "I-- Hiroshi and I-- it wasn't like that! We just--"

"I know what it was like between you," Jyou cut him off quietly. "Hiroshi told me all about it."

Hiroshi-- what? There was too much data flying through this conversation, Koushirou couldn't make sense of it. Hiroshi was Jyou's cousin. Hiroshi told Jyou. But Hiroshi hadn't told Koushirou about Jyou. How much had Hiroshi told Jyou? Jyou said 'all', and... and Jyou was so quiet about this. That quiet, that coldness-- Koushirou could've handled it if he yelled at him, if he got upset, but this damned near silence-- it worried him, made him feel like nothing could ever be right again. "He..."

Something akin to sympathy rose up in Jyou's eyes for a moment before he spoke again. "He isn't the angel you thought he was."

"Why does it matter what I did? I have my own life-- just because I didn't share every detail of it with you--"

"And I didn't share every detail of mine with you. So why are you so upset that I left without telling you?"

"Because--" Koushirou cut himself off uncertainly, trying to calm down and reorganize his thoughts. He didn't deal well with these confrontations that involved emotion and people and he couldn't think this way. "You didn't respond to any of my letters. Or my emails."

"So it's the avoidance that you're asking about?" Jyou asked, taking off his glasses to clean them. "You shouldn't worry about that. I avoided everyone."

"But _why_?"

"Does it matter?"

"_Yes_, damnit!"

Jyou blinked at that, Koushirou realizing he hadn't sworn in front of the other Digidestined in... well... ever. Well, fine. So he wasn't the good boy people thought he was. Who cared? This was important, and Jyou was giving him half-truths and possibilities and no real information.

Finally, Jyou replaced his glasses, turning his gaze onto Koushirou again. "Because I was tired of it," he shrugged a little. "Tired of looking at you and remembering what Hiroshi told me. Tired of watching all of us screw up our lives by playing these little games. Because if I stayed away, Hiroshi wouldn't go after another person I cared about just to hold it over my head."

"Hiroshi _loved_ me--"

"Don't delude yourself," Jyou cut him off sharply. "Hiroshi doesn't love anyone. He played you, Koushirou. He told me once that he was thinking of just fucking you and leaving you, but then he decided that it would be more fun to play games with you. Convince you that he loved you for those two years."

"You're lying-- you don't know him!" Why was Koushirou getting so upset? He hadn't really seen Hiroshi in almost four years, but he felt the need to defend his ex all the same.

"Don't I?" Jyou shot back. "Maybe _you_ don't know him as well as you thought you did, Koushirou. Do you know what he told me the night after you two fucked for the first time?"

Koushirou flushed before anger welled up within him. "So you're upset because I kept the fact that I was sleeping with my _boyfriend_ from you?"

"Only because your boyfriend was a bastard--"

"So what, I'm supposed to run them by you before I date anyone?"

"Only if I'm related to them!"

Part of Koushirou knew that Jyou had a right to be upset, even if it was a flawed right, knew that he shouldn't get so upset by Jyou's protectiveness, but that part was small and powerless in the wake of the powerful emotions flooding through the redhead right now. "You're just jealous--"

"You're right, Koushirou," Jyou cut him off unexpectedly, an odd sound Koushirou couldn't place entering his voice. "I was jealous that you preferred my deranged cousin's company to mine. I was angry that you wouldn't even confide in me that you were seeing anyone, so I couldn't warn you about him. I was ready to kill him, but then you would've been so upset because you _loved_ the son of a bitch, so I did the next best thing. I _left_. Because if I'd tried to kill myself, nothing would've gotten better, and Hiroshi would've hung it over my head."

Dazed by the rush of Jyou's words, Koushirou barely registered the blue-haired boy rising and brushing past him, climbing out of the window again. "Goodbye, Koushirou."

Before the redhead could register what was going on, Jyou was gone.


	4. Conversation

**Mistakes**

**Conversation**

So he was an idiot. That really wasn't news to Jyou.

He wasn't really sure how he'd gotten to the park, wasn't aware of much that happened between leaving Koushirou's house and sitting on the swing. His watch told him that an hour had passed, an hour most definitely not taken up solely by the short walk, but he couldn't be positive. After all, what else would he have done?

Vaguely, the blue-haired boy heard a voice calling his name, the sound of a car door slamming. Something was going on. Did it matter? He'd screwed things up royally. Now Koushirou... and he hadn't even cared, it hadn't mattered. He shouldn't have--

"_Jyou,_" that insistent voice broke through his train of thoughts, a hand on his own. Something was in his hand. The gun? When had he gotten that?

Glancing up dimly, Jyou blinked, wondering why his vision was blurry until a pale, gentle hand moved to wipe away some of the liquid from them. Tears? "Yama...?"

The blonde growled quietly as he looked at the liquid on his hand before pulling Jyou up and leading him to the cobalt convertible parked nearby. "C'mon, Jyou. Let's get you out of here, ok? You can stay at my place for a while."

Words. Yamato was talking, saying things. Jyou barely registered. They were walking, something was happening. Driving. Driving to a-- very large place, apparently. "Where--?"

"Hiroaki threw me out when he found out I was gay. Luckily, the band started doing pretty well, so I only had to bunk with my guitarist for a few months. By then I'd saved enough to get this place."

Jyou nodded absently, hundreds of questions diving through his head and out again as quickly as they came. That conversation with Koushirou really tired him out, in spite of the fact that it really hadn't taken long at all. "I..."

"You should rest," Yamato cut him off gently. "I'm sure that whatever happened made you more than a little tired. I've got a spare room made up for you."

Feeling no real need to argue the point, Jyou nodded, letting Yamato lead him inside and to the aforementioned room. Sleep sounded good around now. Very, very good...

--

Yamato hadn't been this angry in years. He considered himself mostly lucky that he'd had a lot of time to cool down since the last time he'd seen Jyou this worked up about something. Or rather, not himself... but a certain rat bastard cousin of Jyou's.

Granted, Yamato had been the one to send Jyou to talk to Koushirou, but really-- this wasn't exactly the way things would've gone ideally. Ideally, that little redhead would've realized that Jyou was the one he should've been with all those years ago when he was lusting after tall, dark and needs a frontal lobotomy with an icepick. Then Jyou would've stopped thinking about trying to kill himself, and the world would've fallen back into some semblance of order.

No, of course not. That would've been far too easy apparently.

Signing online under his very hidden screenname (what his bandmates referred to as his 'stalker' sn), Yamato took a deep breath and sent a message out.

**WolfLeadzOut2:** Koushirou.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...Yamato?

One point for the genius.

**WolfLeadzOut2:** Mind telling me what the hell you did to Jyou?

Part of Yamato's mind argued that he should play a little nicer with the redhead. After all, Yamato hadn't talked to the kid in a good few years, ever since he'd started dating Hiroshi and the events which followed. But screw that, Jyou was _upset_, and Yamato wanted to know the details. Now.

No one ever accused him of being overly blessed with patience.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** I didn't do anything to Jyou.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** He got mad at me.

**WolfLeadzOut2:** No shit, sherlock. I thought you were a genius.

This wasn't going to be very conducive to getting information from him.

**ComputerWhizKid4:** I don't know what happened.

Taking a deep breath, Yamato realized Koushirou was probably telling the truth. The redhead might be the smartest kid on the block, but when it came to anything outside of data and numbers and school? Not a chance in hell.

Grabbing his cell phone, the musician pulled out one of his older address books and found Koushirou's number. If the kid kept the same screenname for the better part of his life, chances were that he wouldn't change his cell number. Dialing, the blonde recited a number of lyrics in his head, trying to calm himself down. This would go badly if he ended up yelling at Koushirou who was probably still as clueless as he'd been several years ago.

"Hello?"

"Izumi, you have five minutes to explain to me what the hell went on after Jyou went to talk to you before I hurt someone very badly."

--

That... wasn't exactly the words you wanted to hear from a pop star's mouth. Especially not when you knew said pop star and hadn't really spoken to him for several years. "Y-Yamato?"

"Clock's ticking."

Somehow, Koushirou got the feeling that he should answer before the blonde got even angrier. "It's kind of... I'm not really sure--"

"Start at the beginning."

"Why's it any of your business?" Koushirou shot out before realizing those were probably very much not the words he should be saying right now.

"Because I'd like to know why one of my best friends was upset enough to almost go through with killing himself when he'd been perfectly fine less than an hour before."

...kill himself? "Kill himself-- what are you talking abou--"

"What. _Happened?_" Yamato repeated, the words snarled out.

Deciding that it would be better to answer first and ask later, Koushirou took a deep breath. "He showed up at my place, and we were talking... I asked him why he left."

"And?"

"And... I told him I thought he'd tell me why he left, and he said..." Koushirou hesitated, unsure he wanted Yamato to know about Hiroshi as well. Bad enough that Jyou knew, that things had become so strained there. Did he have to go over this? But if Jyou tried to kill himself...

"He said that he left because you were sleeping with his son of a bitch cousin?" Yamato prompted.

...did everyone know what was going on in his personal life? Koushirou wondered in frustration for a moment before remembering what Yamato said about a time limit. Well, that narrowed down the list of Yamato's potential victims a bit... "Something like that... I got upset."

"Did you now." The sarcasm in the blonde's voice served only to further chafe on Koushirou's already sour mood.

"Why's it such a big deal anyway?" Koushirou snapped, his normally collected self annoyed at this turn of events. So Yamato must've been the friend Jyou saw who made him so calm. "I had a boyfriend, so what? Turns out he's related to Jyou-- is it so weird for me to have a social life?"

"That bastard's life goal is to make Jyou miserable. He only went after you because Jyou wanted you!" Yamato hissed angrily at Koushirou.

"Is it that hard to think that someone might find me attractive, Yamato?" Koushirou shot back before the second sentence fully hit his brain.

Wait... Jyou wanted... that didn't make sense. If Jyou wanted Koushirou, why hadn't he said anything...?

"You're an idiot. You don't deserve Jyou," Yamato snarled. "If you fuck him up any more than you already have, I swear that I'll tear you to pieces, Koushirou."


End file.
